(This post is based on an earlier Facebook announcement, for those who haven't already seen it).

Time for a formal announcement, if you don't already know: We're leaving France in late June 2021 to move back to Canada, and will be heading to Vancouver.

I'm very excited about this move - I've missed living near the ocean, I've really missed living in an English-speaking city, and I'm eager to try something new while returning to a country I already know and love.

Also - for all the happy posts and photos of our adventures, it's been a very difficult and never-ending fight with immigration authorities for the past five years, and something I'm very eager to put an end to.

As always, immigration issues have propelled this moving decision. I know some of you think the reason I've had such immigration/visa problems is because I keep flitting around, but the reverse is true - I keep moving because visa/residence pathways have been blocked.

Every - Single - Move I have made since 2013 has been intended to be "the final move," where my immigration would be finalised and I could live in that locale forever. It didn't happen.

In 2013, I moved to Halifax, and met the crazy Ontarian French Canadian who somehow convinced me to go camping with him in deserted northern Nova Scotia 2 months after meeting. His work transfer to Montreal meant I had 2 choices: stay in Halifax with a somewhat secure immigration procedure and possibly lose him, or roll the dice with immigration and marry my love. I chose the second option.

Quebec, though, was a nightmare. I had no working visa, no right to live in the country, and the only feasible way to get a visa was to stop working freelance for AT LEAST 2 years while I tried my luck with immigration. This was unappealing because A: I still wasn't 100% convinced the guy I married wasn't a serial killer and I wanted to protect myself (he turned out to be awesome, btw. Well done, me), and B. I knew of Quebec's long history of "clearing its immigration backlog" by canceling all immigration applications every 2 years or so and making people start over from scratch. So I pushed for us to go to the UK.

The UK seemed like a GREAT idea - we both had working visas, I was convinced we could turn those into long-term residence visas, and Britain is beautiful. The last thing I expected was for (some of) the fuckers to vote for Brexit the month after we arrived. In the months following that, it became crystal clear that the Home Office (in charge of immigration) was not going to allow us to get long-term visas, and it increasingly became a source of stress as its 'hostile environment' meant that working visa-holders were really not at all protected from canceled visas or worse. It was nerve-wracking, and with a new baby, we needed a better option.

Enter France - we said, "after this, we're never moving again". We were so ecstatic to receive our visas - so ecstatic, and so eager to move, that we didn't fully understand that they had done something highly irregular - they gave Matt a full working visa, and me a "visitor" visa, which does NOT give me the right to work. Every bureaucrat we saw, in countless departments in the years since, said they had never seen anything like it, and that a mistake had been made. We tried to get it fixed - they rejected my request twice. The only path to normalising my visa was for Matt to get citizenship (which would take at least 5 years and another 2 for me to get working rights). Or, for me to leave France and my family and reapply from outside the country (not an option). Desperate, heartbroken, and furious, I realised that France was not a long-term option. And that's when I began the application for Canadian permanent residency, in February 2020.

Please understand that each of these moves - Quebec to the UK, the UK to France, and the upcoming France to BC - has been absolutely heartbreaking for all of us. It's a difficult thing to make inroads in local communities, make local acquaintances, and get used to a way of life, only for the ugly mess of visas to make a move necessary. This part of the process is not something that we've enjoyed.

But with any luck, by August my immigration woes will be over and I will have permanent residency in Canada.

**Support refugees and immigrants. You have no idea how difficult the whole process is, in every single country. It's a nightmare. We were the lucky ones - if we needed to, we could just return home. For too many people, that's not an option.**

A quick thought on keeping NYRs – the only way to make it work is to hold yourself accountable at regular intervals. 
And I’ve been able to do that, thanks to my handy-dandy spreadsheet. So here goes:

The wins

First, let’s start with the good.

I’ve made solid progress on my work-related aims. I’ve been able to write about religion for RNS, a longtime goal, and I’ve found an outlet to write about geopolitical issues and where it intersects with business for Supply Management Magazine. I’m building a client base for my communications work, and I’ve written about mining for non-mining outlets (The Ecologist and VICE Canada).

Spending time with my little boy (20 months now) and exploring with him is also high on my priority list. I’m putting down my phone more (awful habit), and reveling in the time we have together, where we read, play (European) football indoors, and learn new words. Since January, we've taken him to New York to meet his cousin (same age), to Paris’ Jardin des Plantes, and to the library and local parks regularly. And we set up the tent indoors to give him a sense of what to expect once the weather gets warm. 

I’ve done well on the health front. I’ve stopped drinking completely – not of my own volition. I used to have a glass of red a night, but one day it just tasted awful. Same thing the next day. It’s been two weeks. I miss my reds. But maybe it’s for the best.

I’ve also gotten my ass in gear to get my French residency situation sorted. Because of the horrid company which processes French immigration files, I only have a visitor status here. I’ve found an affordable lawyer who is taking care of it, and hopefully, within four months’ time, I’ll be here as a full resident with working rights. Cross fingers for me.

On the travel front, another winter has come and gone without me taking a much-needed warm break. But I’ve got two trips in April: one to Perugia for the International Journalism Festival, and the other at the end of the month to Nice, Marseille, and Nîmes while the boys are off in Canada. 

The middling

I haven’t made nearly as much progress, or put nearly as much effort into, speaking and reading French as I should be. I know, I live here and I’m surrounded by it. But I work and live in English, and I’m still trying to figure out how to mix those two better. I have ideas.

I also wanted to get involved in an environmental project, but hadn’t found one yet. I did find a fantastic volunteer project in Paris, but….I’ll address that below.

We’ve made some progress on making the apartment homey. We upgraded our bedroom duvet. There’s now something hanging on Magnus’ wall. But the main room is still under-developed, and I think that should be our focus, now that the sun has returned.

The no-progress at all

On these fronts, I’ve made absolutely zero progress: Making friends. Working somewhere that’s not my apartment. Reinstating our weekly date night. These need immediate attention.

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I’ve had a massive shift in my thinking over the past weekend. For the entire time I’ve been in Saint-Ouen l'Aumône (hereafter SOA), I’ve been almost entirely focused on working from Paris, attending events in Paris, making connections in Paris, trying to develop friendships in Paris. All the Meetup groups I’ve joined are Paris-based.

There’s just one problem: I don’t live in Paris, and the train is a 40-minute trip.

I downplayed the distance for months, but it didn’t change anything. I said I’d attend Meetup meetings only to cancel at the last minute. I stopped going to services in Paris. I tried to work from Paris once, but found it too much of a hassle.

But yet I continued to think of myself as “so close to Paris.”

Then, one of Matt’s colleagues needed help this weekend, as she was leaving Paris to get settled in her new flat in Pontoise.

And it hit me.

Pontoise/SOA is a place entirely separate from Paris. It’s got its own events. It has opportunities. And my life could be so much fuller if all I had to do to get there was walk, instead of running to catch the train, then taking a metro, then walking, and then having to do it all over again on the way back.

We've already started to integrate into the neighbourhood. The local market knows us well, as do the local librarians (who always greet Magnus by name when he enters the building). Our neighbours are friendly and love chatting to Mag. I tried rowing on Saturday at the local club (I was miserable at it, but I’ve found a canoe club in Cergy, within walking distance). I’ve also signed up for a coworking space that’s a 20-minute walk from our apartment. And I’m heading to badminton night on Friday, in a gym that’s a 10-minute walk from my desk. I want to start a parenting group for our apartment complex. All of this will force me to speak more French.

So I'm looking forward to the next few months, when I can focus on where I *actually* live and build my community.

A few days ago, I saw a post on Gretchen Rubin’s (Facebook? Twitter? I forget which) about how she fared on her ’18 for 18’ list, and I was inspired to create my own ’19 for 19’ list – I figured it was a new and different way of trying to structure the year, instead of just jotting down airy-fairy resolutions in early January.

There are two things that are not heavily featured on this ’19 for 19’.

The first is work (there’s something on the list related to work, but it’s not a focus of the list). Like most journalists (I tell myself), my life is 80% work, 10% sleeping, 5% eating and 5% fun. This list is an effort to turn me into less of a workaholic, and more into someone with a well-rounded life.

The other thing that’s not on this list is reading. One of my great fears before I became a mother was that I would no longer have time to read (as too many new mothers told me). So 2017/2018 was me desperately trying to prove to myself that it was rubbish.

So I read. A lot. So much. And then I realised….maybe I overdid it (I’m not one for moderation, which is also why I mostly stopped drinking.)

I read three, sometimes four books a month in the past year. But it came at a cost. I didn’t go out much. I didn’t connect with people much. I didn’t leave the apartment nearly as much as I wanted to. It became an excuse not to grapple with French and find people to be friends with. I didn’t play with Mag (or Matt) as much as I could have.

So without further ado, here’ my 19 for 19:

1. Improve my French. I really want to get to the point where I can converse fluidly in French without having to obsess over it. The only way to make that happen is to speak more French with more people.

2. Spend time outdoors. As noted above, I spend too much time in the apartment. I have this (as yet unproven) theory that if I spend more time outdoors, it’ll make these wretched winter months go by much faster, and I’ll also be able to thoroughly enjoy the better weather when it comes.

3. Get immigration status sorted. My current visa for France has me listed as a visitor. That’s problematic. These next few weeks will be about getting listed as an ‘auto-entrepreneur’ so I can legally work as a freelancer for French companies (I can already legally freelance for non-French companies).

4. Travel. This year, I’m going to the International Journalism Festival in Perugia in April. I really want to see the ‘Museum of Romanity’ (Roman life) in Nîmes soon, which will give me a handy excuse to escape the bleak Paris winter for a few days. I’m headed to London for two days in January, to meet up with client and friends, and also see the Ashurbanipal exhibit at the British Museum. We’re heading to New York in February to see family, and we’ll be spending the month of August in Florida (five days), Ottawa (14 days), and northern Ontario (8 days). And we’ll be back in northern Ontario for Christmas.

5. Expand my reporting niche. I started out as a reporter writing about fish and the environment. I miss the fish. So, more fish in ’19.

6. Explore with Magnus. My glorious rambunctious little boy deserves more adventures, and adventures are what he will have.

7. Reinstate the weekly date night. Between the new addition and the moving to a new country, this one fell by the wayside. Time to reclaim that.

8. Get that Nikon/join photog club in Paris. I love taking photos. It’s about time I treated myself to a serious camera. And joining a photography group in Paris will help me meet more people and practice my French. All good things.

9. Build client base. Always good to have an excess of work opportunities.

10. Strengthen muscles. I’m pretty scrawny, so I’d like to bulk up a bit. Plus, Matt and I (and some friends) are planning on kayaking from near Whitehorse to Dawson City in 2020. In order to be able to contribute to the rowing (and preserve our marriage), my arms need to get stronger.

11. Get involved in an environmental project. I don’t know about you, but I’m starting to feel a deep-seated panic about our environmental situation. I’ve gone a bit extreme on the recycling end in our house, and I’m in the process of banning any new plastics from entering our abode. But I still feel like I need to do more.

12. Be healthy. I don’t eat as much fruit or veg as I should. I’m a little too in love with French chocolate pastries, often with detrimental effects. And, strangely, given that last bit, I still struggle to maintain a good weight. (It’s genetic, but still frustrating). So bring on the healthy eating habits.

13. Write for myself. Just to see where it goes.

14. Interior decorating. We have a magnificent apartment. But we haven’t done much on the decorating side (we tended not to live very long in our previous apartments, so decorating hasn’t been a priority). The plan, however, is to remain in France for the foreseeable future, and that means putting our personal touches on the place. We’ve already started in the bedroom. We need a few lampshades and wall décor for the main room, and comfortable balcony furniture to enjoy the summer.

15. Work from Paris. I’ve found a great coworking space that I plan to use a lot more frequently this year. This will go a long way towards practicing my French and meeting new people.

16. Make friends.  This should be higher. Despite it being #16 on the list, it’s really priority #1.

17. Get serious about my spiritual life. I’m a bit private about this, so that’s all I’ll say.

18. Professional development. Find a mentor. Learn Excel. Perfect my pitch techniques.

19. Find a cause to volunteer with. I’ve already decided: homelessness. It’s a big problem in Paris, and it seems to be getting worse. My whole life, I’ve been pretty ashamed that the only thing I can think to do around a homeless person is step around them. So now it’s time to do something different. I’ve found a Meetup group that delivers food to homeless people on Tuesdays, Fridays, and Saturdays, and I’m going to start volunteering once a month. I’ve let my privilege blind me for too long on this issue.

This is a long list. These are not ‘resolutions’. A better way of classifying this is ‘things I would like to include in my upcoming year.’ It will be a handy guide if I’m ever feeling bored, restless, or lost for direction.

​Thanks for reading, particularly if you’ve made it this far. If you have any questions or suggestions, I’d love to hear them.
 

I really needed 2018 to be better than 2017 on the professional front – and I am thrilled to say it did not disappoint.

I gleefully left my (short-lived) communications job in London at the end of March, and moved with my small family just outside Paris, as my husband was offered a really exciting opportunity.

I didn’t take up work until September, because finding an apartment in France, as well as reliable daycare pour notre petit, took a lot of legwork and emotional strength. France is not kidding about bureaucracy. Or ludicrous three-months-up-front initial deposits for an apartment. But I digress.

I accomplished two major things this year:

First: I moved to the Paris region, a long-time dream of mine. Like most things in life, it didn’t exactly come about by endlessly banging on doors, but in a series of opportunities that opened up. We happily took the leap, eager to do whatever we could to escape from Brexit hell.

So now, whenever I want to see Montmartre, I pop on a short train. If there’s a museum exhibit or an author talk in central Paris, I’m right there. I want to spend an hour or two soaking in the beauty of Saint Eustache or just meandering along the Seine? I’m there in a jiffy. It’s glorious.

It also means I’m in the perfect spot to strengthen my (let’s face it) flagging French (point of clarification: I understand it just fine. I read it without an issue. I write it without too much difficulty. But I trip up when speaking, so I need to work on that).

The other thing I’ve accomplished is that I officially went full-time freelance.

Granted, I didn’t have much of a choice. My visa doesn’t allow me to work for a French company (we’re working on it), so that’s how it is. And though we can live decently on one paycheck, I am far too ridden with anxiety to be comfortable with that.

So I’m back to reporting, and I fucking love it. There’s so much to enjoy – digging up new and interesting story angles, interviewing fascinating people, delving into the science-tech-social issues that I enjoy.

I’m also very, very aware how lucky I am to still be in this game. When I look around at American media, it’s so easy to be dismayed by the male- and Ivy-dominated mastheads of pretty much every major publication you can name. I didn’t come from money (and therefore, didn’t have the Ivy experience). But I’ve stuck around, and I’m going to make damned sure I never let my sense of Ivy-less inferiority keep me from pitching to top magazines in 2019. (Because the world needs more working-class journalists. Full stop.)

I’m very pleased with how the last few months have gone. I’ve had some headaches, sure, but many more successes. I’ve been named a regular contributor (now on the masthead!!) at Mining Magazine. I’ve been asked to be an editor at another publication I write for. An editor (not one I usually work with) at CIM Magazine approached me for an assignment last week. I took one-on-one pitch writing course, and I learned so much from it. Earlier this year, I wrote a blog post which went pretty viral, and even got a mention in POLITICO Europe. I’ve got pieces due for two new publications in the New Year, and 6-8 solid pitches to send out in January.

So I’m very, very excited about what 2019 is looking like.

Here’s what I’ve learned after four months of full-time freelancing:

Anchor clients are critical. If you’re someone who, like me, panics about money, then having an anchor client will do wonders for your stomach. Having a reliable and sizable payment coming in every month does a lot to bolster my self-esteem, not to mention my bank balance, and takes a lot of worry out of the freelance process. It’s OK if I don’t land X number of assignments in one month because the anchor payment will be there, and everything else is just gravy.
But to make everything else feel like gravy:

Reducing expenses is necessary. We cut a lot of costs just by moving from the London area to the Paris region. Our daycare costs decreased by 50%, and my commuting costs went down 86%. Matt’s commuting costs went from the cost of the car + gas + the emotional toll of being in traffic, to zero (he walks to work). We’ve also gone pretty minimalist, benefiting from hand-me-downs for little Magnus, cutting down our wardrobes, and significantly shrinking our discretionary spending (as much for budget reasons as for environmental ones).

So instead of barely scraping by on two (rather high) salaries as we were in the UK, we’re living very comfortably on one salary, while using the other for trips and savings.

Reaching out to new editors is a great way to get more bylines. I know, I know. Seems bleeping obvious. But it’s one thing to know that, and another thing to do that. I’ve been getting bolder in the last two months, and I’ve got 2 new commissions to show for it.

Chocolate does not replace meals. And that’s all I’m going to say about that.